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self discipline. I decide, therefore i do.

Writer's picture: Megan VaughanMegan Vaughan

Updated: Oct 10, 2023



"You are like the perfect trainer. You aren't super fit and you aren't super fat. You are realistic".


A client once told me that referring to my own self discipline in organizing skills. I think that is what you call a backhanded compliment, but I thought it was funny.


If you want to become organized, motivated, get things done and achieve goals, I am the person to do it. There isn't any humility there because I have been so successful with so many SOF personnel sitting across the table from me. I became numb to the success and expected that level of success out of myself for every single service member that crossed my path. And yeah, I was pretty good at it.


Each client affirmation kept me going. My office was a disaster. Piled with sweaters and books and cups. I fancied myself an Albert Einstein of productivity therapy and executive functioning. Wild hair and all. I didn't need to model self discipline, I didn't have time! If you want the magic recipe, then ignore the sweaters and take a seat.


But there is a secret ingredient, the inherit skillset of my clients. I knew I was reinvigorating that which had been lost and I developed the steps to come back. At the VA, I lived my life for them. Gave my all. I had zero life balance. I loved the thrill of seeing the change in others and solving the puzzles in front of me. The more complex, the better. I was doing it for others. For my country damnit! (No sarcasm here)




"Lets train up for a joint climb!! You in?!"


When that fateful text popped into my view, I was sitting on the couch likely eating some sort of salty snack.


I replied "I'm in!". I will say that practicing mindfulness and really focusing on it since starting my own business has given me the fortitude to actually really believe that I could do this. But damn, my shins even hurt. Could I do Pike's Peak?


One week later...


Deny called and we discussed our progress. He is preparing for a practice mountain and altitude training and as he was speaking, I thought back to my afternoon. I saw my friend speed walking while pushing a baby stroller and me dragging my dog along next to her. I said, "Yeah I've been training too". I have, but once again, was I the not-too-fat/ not-too-fit physical trainer metaphor? I am supposed to be supplementing with cycling but I think the seat is uncomfortable..


I may have trained up clients, but they trained me just as much- down to which way my feet are pointing show how invested I am in a conversation. (Ever since, I have been paranoid about the position of my feet and if the other person noticed). So time to turn the lessons back on to myself.


So lets dive in to self discipline (its ok if you skimmed past all of the above. It's cool. I probably would have too. Well yeah, I definitely would have. But I'm changing that! Self discipline!).


Oh excuse my handwriting below



When we do stuff it starts with reptilian, limbic, then maybe neocortex, if its online. Its instant. But notice...


ON PURPOSE!!! See that key word? That's why mindfulness fits with building habits. Mindfulness is not about relaxation or sleeping or being a hippy. Definition of mindfulness 'paying attention on purpose without judgement'. AKA use the neocortex and override the limbic (emotion) and reptilian (habit).


So yes, I can do this. Anyone can do anything they want to build in themselves. But it also takes mind training. It's not about taking a breath and feeling one with the universe. It's about grit. It's about mindset. It's about mindfulness.


The mantra, "I decide, therefore I do".


More to come...








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